Sonic's Weird And Wonderful Journey Into The Cosmos
by 05PR3YXD
Summary: Sonic explores things and does things. Not all good things though.


**Hi, I haven't written for 2 months due to some study trip bullshit so I'd like to apologize for this really random and messy output that I wrote for you guys today. Thanks!**

One day, Sonic the hedgehog was just doing his usual fuckin business running around Green Hill Zone collecting fuckin rings and shit.

"Woohoo!" Shouted Sonic as he went through the loop. Suddenly, something terrible happened - it just so happened that at the time that he was directly upside down on the loop the world experienced gravity that was 500x stronger for a few seconds for some reason.

"Oh, shit."

Sonic suddenly fell down head first into the ground and hit his head directly, cracking his skull, damaging his brain and cracking every single fucking bone in his neck. You'd think that he was dead.

But no.

Somehow.

"Ouch," Sonic says before passing out.

"HEY YOU FUCKING BLUE ASS HEDGEHOG, GET THE FUCK UP!"

Sonic got up and saw the nurse that had just shouted at him in front of him. He realized he was in a hospital. He got a scalpel from a nearby table and stabbed the nurse around 2 million times until he was sure that she was dead. He then pulled out an automatic shotgun that for some fucking reason was under the mattress and killed literally everyone in the hospital then ran outside and killed everyone in the police and fire stations as well then went to all the army bases and killed all the soldiers and destroyed all the vehicles for literally no reason at all. Eventually crime would erupt in the country and a nearby forest fire would destroy it because there was no one to stop it and as Sonic kills everyone in China and commits the second tiananmen massacre and the second rape of nanking all by himself eventually Canada and North Korea will sign a pact and invade what is left of the US because I don't fucking care anymore then all the Canadians turned into Orangutans and all the North Koreans turned into bananas so all the Orangutans just shoved all the bananas into their asses and they suddenly became communists

and so the CSOU (Canadian Socialist Orangutan Union) was formed, becoming a world power that rivaled the armies of even Russia and China.

But Sonic was still alive running around and just killing random shit. The world population was reduced to like 4 living things at this point (Sonic and 3 singular bacterium) and the CSOU only survived for like 5 minutes before Sonic killed all the members. Dead bodies line every street in every city in the world. Millions of fish and turtle and shark and whale bodies riddled with shotgun bullets fill the beaches. Even the fucking plants and mushrooms were massacred. Sonic didn't forget the microorganisms either. Hitler and Stalin definitely have nothing on Sonic at this point. Despite the fact that the entire population of the CSOU is dead, Sonic fucked all the dead female orangutans as he went on his killing spree so even though they're dead they still gave birth to fucking hedgehog orangutan hybrids that are as horrifying as any typical sonic OC. They roamed the land and fucked each other so they multiplied into the millions.

"Ah, shit, I've run out of ammo. I didn't really kill that much people anyway," Sonic says as he finally stops his killing spree. He is bored so he walks around to see if he can find anything to waste his time with. He finds a VR set and is delighted to learn that it is still working. He finds a place to sit and puts it on.

As soon as Sonic switches the VR set on, he sees hundreds of chili dogs, his favorite food, in every direction! Sonic is turbomalnourished at this point because he hasn't eaten since he started his massacre and runs in and eats all of the millions of chili dogs to be seen. He notices that the chili dogs don't taste like chili dogs at all but he doesn't give a flying fuck. Sonic then jacks off and cums randomly then grows 3000 arms and legs and rockets into space and summons 10,000 elephants that all have 30 buttholes each and fucks all of the buttholes and becomes a god.

10 years later, the entire population of orangutan hedgehog hybrids goes extinct because all of the male specimens had their dicks bitten off by Sonic so they couldn't fuck and all died of either disease or old age.

The end


End file.
